i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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