your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it wasn't lemon gatorade
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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