I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
what day is it and did you see me today?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
