Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
