I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
