I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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