her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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