if you like me you must not know who I am
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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