yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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