it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
