i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
