This dress was meant to end up on your floor
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
