i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
