hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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