My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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