Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize