this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
