i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
