"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
