trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
