My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
