like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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