At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
