I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
