mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
