You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
