She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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