you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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