nut hugger
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize