i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize