wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
