Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize