I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When are your genitals available?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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