You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
