I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
