I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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