Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
