You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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