Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
