He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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