You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
