I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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