Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
