He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
