Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
