went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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