went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
