My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
