i was rollin on her like bob the builder
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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