how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
