found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
