omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
