Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
