No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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