I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
