why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
