sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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