I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Found your dick twin last night
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
