I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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