I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize