how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
