"it" just moved
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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